Here we go again!

Flashback....
March 1992, I discover a lump in my neck and after a whirlwind of blood tests, body scans, biopsies and enemas (yes I said that! And can you imagine how mortifying it was to be 17 and have to do that just for some stupid test?? UGH)...I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Mind you, this was in my Senior year in high school, making everything seem like it was worse than it was. I was soon known as the girl with cancer, everyone knew I wore a wig (well, I guess that was my fault since I picked one that was dark brown and clear to my ass when my hair was only to my shoulders...and light brown), and if you asked me I WAS NOT SICK....but everyone thought I was. Long story short, I graduated high school during my treatments and finished my last treatment on September 28, 1992...the day after my 18th birthday.

Here is a picture of me and my friend Sara..I wouldn't take off the hat so she kept hers on too! Not very many people have seen this (me without hair) I wore that stupid wig to bed sometimes!!




I must now tell you a little story that will soon be relevant to my new journey...so stay with me here. One day when I was having outpatient chemotherapy, I met a lady that was in there getting her "juice" with me. I found it odd that she was in there because she was obviously not pediatric like the rest of us. I started talking to her and found out that she was 35 years old and was back for her second battle with lymphoma.





Flash Forward....
September 27, 2009....I turn 35 (does anyone see the relevance of the story above yet?) I did not tell anyone, but I ever since the day that I met that lady, I have always feared turning 35 - I knew that if my cancer was ever going to come back....that would be when it did. Again, I never told a soul.



Jump to present day....
Next month I am going to be 36...I was almost in the clear. Here is where my new story begins. I am a wife, a step-mom to three teenage boys, a daughter, a friend, full time employee and a part time student. I just completed my very last prerequisite class to apply for the RN program...busting my ass, stressing out and pulling 18 hour days to get here. Looks like that is going to have to be put on hold.....as my biggest fear is staring me in the face! I am 35 and it is quite clear that lymphoma has decided to pay a visit.....dammit all to hell!!



Here is what I know so far...
I have had a CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis after getting a "dirty chest x-ray" and the chest scan says this: I have 5 enlarged lymph nodes in my chest - pushing on my heart, and around my lung. The largest of these measures 6cm....that is friggin huge!!! I now know why I am having chest pains and can't breathe so well....makes perfect sense! Monday I have to talk to the surgeon who is going to do a biopsy and tell me that I have cancer again....who are we kidding here...like I don't already know that! I have all the symptoms (chronic cough, itching, night sweats and enlarged lymph nodes running around like crazy in my chest) so I have a pretty good idea as to what is happening. Don't take me too seriously though, I obviously know that I have to see the surgeon...and hey maybe it is just a cold (HA yea right).

So, this is my blog...the beginning. I will continue to update as things progress and let you all know what is happening. Warning - I will most likely make you laugh, and I might make you cry...so read at your own risk!



xoxo - Joni