To see my journey...go back to August 2010

So, I noticed that I am unable to hide some posts so people can see the "actual" cancer blog (the most recent stuff is just random chit chat amongst me and my computer). So, if you are interested in reading how I became Superwoman, how I pretty much lost my noodle, what chemo is like or how a stem cell transplant works....go back and start in August. I can guarantee you will laugh and maybe cry...but this is my life and well its been a bit sad at times, wonderful at others and sometimes I think I have simply lost my ever loving mind. If anyone wants to know what has been going on in the last year....well I have a little bit of that for you too. I have 88 more days until I graduate from nursing school with an RN - How's that for Superwoman!!! I have been stressed to the max, made my family suffer with explosions, breakdowns, silent treatment and not washing their underwear on a weekly basis. Dude - the maid is on hiatus...not like I am much of a clean freak anyhow, but that is bedsides the point! I have done pretty well...as a matter of fact, I just got my first 100% on an exam this last Tuesday - I am over the moon! I am a 2x cancer survivor and this RN stuff is WAY more stressful! What else has happened this year....lets see... My hair grew - yep - to my shoulders now! I bleached my hair - of course I did! Daylon was captain of his soccer team - makes a mama J proud! Landon got a new truck and will get his license in 4 days - OMG watch out! Bret also got a new truck - his got totaled (he is ok, truck didn't survive) We stayed the weekend in San Diego for my nephews graduation We went camping and got evacuated - us rebels stayed, no fire was sending us home! WE went to the river! We went to Vegas for a soccer tournament We missed Idaho - regional games because Daylon sprained his ankle 4 days before we were to leave That's enough of that...y'all came here to read about a cancer journey - so I'll stop blabbing. Go back to August 2010!

Time flies when you are a stress monster!

Wow - I just logged on and realized that I have not made an entry since before school started. Well, what can I say about RN school?? In some ways it is exactly what I heard, and in others it is completely different. I had heard horror stories about the teachers and how they are so mean, well so far-so good on that part. I got along very well with all of my teachers and I somehow managed to pull off a 4.0 in my first 3 classes. I had every intention of busting my ass, but I thought I would bust it for a "C" - sure shocked me! I am on the policy committee and I was invited to speak to the incoming students for next semester. I think that was a great experience because not only did they get to hear what the teachers have to say, they got to hear the perspective of two students (me and my girl Ashley). Hopefully they will implement that every semester so people aren't so darn freaked out - "Look, we survived" haha I have been getting chest x-rays and pet scans ever since the transplant and it has been all clear for 16 months now - can you believe it has been that long?? I just hope this damn cancer stays away forever this time, that sure was a pain in the ass :o) I might be losing my health insurance in September so hopefully I stay clear until I graduate and can get a job....fingers crossed! So...my hair. I don't even know what to say about that! It grows like a weed, it is super thick and super curly - which is completely different than what I had before. It is dark brown and grey (so of course I started to color it)and most of the time it looks like I have an afro..hehehe BUT, that is WAY better than what I had a year ago - so I manage the beast the best I can. This stupid blog won't let me upload pictures right now...so you are just going to have to hold onto your seat until I can make it work...hehehe I hope everyone is doing well and continuing to fight the good fight! I know I am!

Where have I been? What have I been doing?

Well, it has been a long time since I wrote to you all. I would say that I have been busy saving the world, or running triathlons - but I would be a liar! What I have been doing is this....

So, you all know that I applied to the RN program after 5 years of busting my butt to get there. I was accepted as an alternate back in May and pretty much got told to hurry up and wait...and wait...and wait. There was a meeting in September for people that got in and people that were alternates, like me. I went to the meeting and there were not a ton of people there, YES!!! I found out that there were approximately 16 alternates, and quite honestly I didn't care! I was #9, the only person in that room that I cared if she got in was #10...meaning I did too! At said meeting, we were scheduled for our TEAS test, mine was on November 4th. Some more hurry up and wait...

Here comes November 4th, like lightning fast. I studied just enough to make me scared to death that I didn't study enough (that made little to no sense, but if you know me, you know what I am talking about). This test was basic skills of reading, math, English language and science. I knew I had the English and reading nailed, math scared the crap out of me and DUH, I am a science major - piece of cake. Took the 3 hour test, and got the results immediately - I PASSED!! Got myself a 77% and all I needed was a 62% - Good enough for me! This is the one time since I started school that I was happy with a "C" grade. My the way - I got in the 97th percentile nationwide in math and 60% in science! Hahaha! What the heck!

They told us that we should hear if we got in the following week. I could not stand it and started emailing the secretary 3 days later, and then a few days after that. I was going NUTS! And then it happened, November 14th I got the call! I'm in!!! I cried walking through Bed, Bath & Beyond!

So, today I sit here freaking out with a 10+ anxiety level, no longer so sure of myself, scared to death - because next Tuesday, my dream comes true and I finally start nursing school! The funny thing is that the things I am freaked about are traffic, making it to school on time, having to now afford gas money for me to drive 400 miles a week and wishing I lived closer to the freeway. I have no fear about learning, busting my ass with homework, or getting it done. So, I guess that is a good thing right? Next December I will graduate, and THAT is freaking awesome!!!

Since it has been a hot minute since you have seen me, if you are not a Facebook friend...here are a few more recent pictures :o)

xoxo ~ Joni

Windows closing...making room for doors to open wide up!

So, I am finally going to go public and say it, I was terminated from my job! I did not mention it much when it happened because I was told that I would be going back July 25th "unless something goes wrong." Well, evidently it went wrong, but I am not complaining.

I loved my job and I will just lay it out there - I was damn good at it! So, I am not going to say anything ill toward the company, because that would be unreasonable of me to do so. They terminated my employment because the insurance was giving them grief for me being gone too long. I exhausted my FMLA and 2 extensions on the California Medical Leave Act, so the only way for me to still keep me on the health insurance was to terminate me and add me to the COBRA plan. Of course when they originally told me, I flipped out and it was a hysteric mess of me crying with snot and crocodile tears - the whole ball of wax! Then they told me it would be $750.00 a month - WHAT? I lost it all over again, where the hell was I going to get that kind of money? And then I learned about how much people do care.

I was invited to lunch by 2 of the VP's and my direct supervisor and I accepted. I had a feeling that I was going to get a better explanation from them than I did from the HR people, and I really did. Then, they dropped the bomb - a good bomb! The employees pulled together and donated cash and vacation time to give to me. They gave me me $800.00 in cash and a check for about $3800.00. I cried, this is where the hell I would get my COBRA money, from my family away from home. So awesome. Unfortunately that is running out and I once again have to figure out where I am going to get the bucks to pay for it, but where there is a will there is a way so no worries!

Fast forward to the end of June. I wanted to get all the ducks in a row for my return, so I sent an email to HR asking who I should talk to. Two days, finally got a response of "let me look into it" I knew then that I would never work there again, you know how you get those feelings. Another week went by, nothing. I emailed again and got the response "C***n will call you sometime today" Then I really knew. Of course he called and I heard what I knew was coming, unfortunately the economy is bad and there is no position for me. I went and got my stuff last Tuesday...after 8 years I only had one box to carry away from my corner office with the windows. I didn't cry when I drove away (ohhh but I did the whole time I was there, don't let me fool you), because this chapter is now closed! It was a great book, but they all have an end.

And another secret that I was not sharing too much of is that back in April, I applied for the RN program and on my first shot, I got on the alternate list. I am number 9 so I am hoping that at least that many drop off and I get in. It will be SWEET too because 2 of my study partners through Microbiology got in and we would be the triple threat - an awesome team!

So, the way I see it is that it is probably a good thing that I got fired. It prevented me from having to quit in January if I get into the program, it made it so I can get unemployment and get me through school, and it saved my car from 100 miles a day having to drive to Ontario. Windows closed - Doors opened!

So....what the heck will I do with myself now that I am going to be released with no job to go to?? Go to school of course! I registered for Spanish and Human Genetics starting in August and I am tickled that I can go during the day! 10:50am to 1:50pm Tuesday and Thursday, woo hoo!!!

Of course I will still focus on fundraising for Light the Night - and by the way, Team Joni is now at 23% of our 10k goal for the year! I know we can do it, I just know it! Last year we got almost half way to that in just 6 short weeks. Here is the link to our team, in case you want to join us or send a donation our way. Every penny counts in cancer research :o)

http://pages.lightthenight.org/ocie/InlandEm11/TeamJoni

Okay, I have more to say, but I need to get some stuff done around here so I will log back in tomorrow.

xoxo - Joni

I have some things to say!!

Hey everyone!

It has been a while since I have posted anything and quite a bit has happened. I am going to make an attempt to tell you what that is, but I may not cover it since I have chemo brain something fierce. What is chemo brain? Well, in my case it is the fact that I cant remember crap! No, really...I hate to pat myself on the back...okay, I will - But, I have always had a GREAT memory and attention to detail....not anymore! I will tell a story and completely leave out either the main point, or I will forget why I was telling the story and just stop. So weird! Bret use to get frustrated with me because of this, but he now sees that it is a real thing and I am not trying to with hold information or not tell him something...my brain just gets stuck on pause!

Where to begin....
Oh, most recent news first shall we?? Today is my 4-month birthday! My transplant took place on January 26th - can you believe it has already been 4 months? Tomorrow I am getting my medi-port taken out, I am very excited about that!! It is suppose to stay in for 6 months to a year but I found out that my health insurance is changing so I need to get it out before June 1st.

Speaking of insurance changing...that is something that I am dealing with right now and it is pretty sad. I am happy that I am still able to even get health insurance and that my COBRA transferred to the new (Kaiser) insurance...BUT this also means that I can no longer go to my regular doctor, Wilshire Oncology or UCLA and that saddens me. I have a great team of doctors, nurses, secretaries and transplant coordinators that have pulled me through the hardest time in my life and now I can no longer see them...and it has only been 4 months since they saved me. Wilshire I will especially miss...Mari, Megan, Sue and Carla have been so awesome to me and I will miss going in there with my loud self, making them laugh!

Courage....
Last blog I told you about my friend Marcy and her daughter Taylor. Well, I am extremely happy to tell you all that Taylor's most recent testing came back negative!!! No cancer! she still does have to go through about 6 months of protocol to make sure it does not relapse...but this is GREAT news! The other day she put on her facebook that she cant wait to shave her head and put glitter on her noggin - I LOVE IT!!! Who needs hair...it is totally overrated (yea, I say that now). She has a great attitude and is a very courageous little girl.

About the hair....
So, my hair is here and growing like a damn field of weeds!! It appears that I am a brunette...a very dark brunette...with a nice (NOT) mixture of grey! And if the grey wasn't enough to piss me off...it is CURLY again! Now, I really have no problem with it being curly - when it is longer - but this short weird phase where it wants to do what it wants and not cooperate with me, now that is just not gonna fly! Well, it is flying, but now because I am letting it! Oddly enough, I get a lot of compliments on my "haircut" which cracks me up! I correct people and say that it is not a haircut, it is growing in. I really do not want people thinking that I would actually DO this to my hair! HAHAHA 2 weeks ago at a restaurant a waitress walked by and said she really likes my hair, a little boy told his mom that he liked my haircut on Tuesday at my nieces graduation and a lady at Stater Bros. yesterday told me that she loves my hair and I should leave it this way. There are a lot more, and it really makes me feel good because I don't feel good about how I look at all....so the compliments are awesome! Leave my hair this short...pffffttt!!!

Here I am yesterday...thinking I am cool because I put gel in my little hairs!



More news....
Today, my youngest step-son graduates from 8th grade! Congratulations to Landon on your accomplishments, I know that you will have a blast in the next four years of high school! Keep your eye on the prize and you will soar! I love you kid!


Light the Night...
Team Joni is about 36 bucks away from raising $2000.00 for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society! That is awesome!! We have set a goal of $10,000 this year and I am hoping that we can get there. Last year we made over $4300 in just 6 weeks! If anyone is interested in donating or joining Team Joni, here is the link to the team.....THANK YOU!!!!!!

http://pages.lightthenight.org/ocie/InlandEm11/Teamjoni



Okay, so now we get to the part where I have totally drawn a blank! I know I had more to say, and I also know that none of the stuff that I did say were a part of what I wanted to say...hahaha So I guess I will stop here. I think I am going to write stuff down on a pad of paper so I remember that I wanted to blog it - of course I will lose the paper and not remember, but at least I tried...hehehehehe

Take care my friends!!!

xoxo - Joni

Another reason I fight!

This is the face of Hodgkins Disease:

And this is the face of leukemia:


Today, we are not here to talk about me (for once...lol). The second photo is Taylor Walling, she is nine years old, the daughter of my friends Marcy McClellan and Billy Walling, and she was just diagnosed with leukemia. She was barely diagnosed last week and is already putting on her gloves and is ready to fight. She is the face of a fighter, she is one of the reasons that I am a fighter through "Team Joni".

I have been talking to Marcy and trying to give her as much advice as I can to help her through what is going to be a very trying time for her. In just the few short days since the diagnosis, I have been watching Taylor on Facebook and via Marcy and am seeing a remarkable little girl. She has been very positive from visiting with princesses, to ordering up pancakes for breakfast and watching her favorite shows on TV. She is going to be in the hospital for 2 weeks to start and then her treatments will resume on a schedule of outpatient and clinics. I think at her young age, she is handling her situation with grace and a great attitude - she has been brought up very well :o)

Taylor is surrounded by great people! Her family is a great support to her - I can tell just by seeing her face in the photos. She has step-parents, brothers and sisters, aunties, uncles....the list could go on forever. I love to see the out pouring of well wishes, prayers and happy thoughts that are shared on her FB page. Here are a few more pictures of this amazing little girl and her family...




So, why am I dedicating a blog to Taylor you ask? Well, I know that my blog has generated a TON of support for me and I have been added to so many prayer chains and groups that I cannot even count. Although Taylor has a great prognosis, I would like to ask that you add her to your prayers too. For those of you that do not pray, think a happy thought for her, raise your glass in a toast to her or just send a positive vibe her way once in a while. Whatever it is that you have done for me, send it her way as well. I believe in the power of positive thinking and what it has done for me, I would love to be a part of helping Taylor by sharing my support team with her.

Thank you everyone for your constant support and love, you will never know just how much it means to me! I will do a separate entry on my progress - this one is for Taylor :o)

xoxo - Joni

Bake Sale Success!!

So, since Team Joni has more than 6 weeks to raise funds this year, we decided to have some fundraising events! I was looking for ideas when my friend Allison suggested a bake sale. She said she has a lot of friends that are amazing bakers and she could ask them to donate their skills. I have never been a fan of bake sales and did not think it would be much of a money maker, but I am willing to try anything once! We found the 20th annual Run-Through-Redlands where we could pay $45.00 for a booth and sell our stuff....so that would be the site for our first fundraiser...a bake sale!

We had tons of stuff donated from cookies to pies to muffins to loaves of banana bread, cupcakes and Starbucks coffee...etc...etc!! We decided not to price anything and leave it up to the people to decide how much they wanted to pay/donate...and boy did they! It was amazing that some people would pay $5.00 for the same thing another would pay .50 cents for. It didn't matter how much, because they were all donating like crazy and it was awesome!!!

We had a "crew" of 5 of us working the booth - Lori, Sara, Raven, Allison and myself. And did we work it! We made sure each person knew that their money was going to cancer research :o) Here are a few pics of us.........



I took my hat off for a photo-op with Allison, whom I am naming Co-captain of "Team Joni" for all of the hard work that she has put into the team so far! (She doesn't know that yet, I'm gonna let her find out when she reads this :o)


And here are a few pictures of our booth and the yummies that we were selling :o)






Ohhhh...so I guess you want to know how much we made huh? We made $527.76!!! Holy Cow! And I was not a fan of bake sales! I am completely blown away and am so excited to put this money on the books for "Team Joni." Absolutely none of this would have been possible without our bakers. I would like to extend a HUGE THANK YOU to the following people:

Barbara Walker
Kim Eisenman
Suzy Neal
Shawna Hernandez
Susan Darveau
Kelly Smith
Nicole Scott
Sherry Christian
Amy Coley
Linda Houston
Stara Affatati
Kale Flordelis
Jennifer Hamman
and Lisa Kirkland

We cannot Thank you enough! And be ready, we will be hitting you up in about 6-months for another go-round ;o)

Thanks to this fundraiser and everyone that has donated, we have pushed right past $1500.00 and are on our way to our $10,000 goal! We can do it!

Thank you again to all of our bakers. Thank you Lori, Sara, Raven and Allison for working the booth. And a special Thank you to Allison for getting all of the bakers lined up and organizing this for us - you did a great job!!

xoxo - Joni